Sometimes throughout life, I forget that I need to stop and take a moment, to wonder about and note all the little things out there in life that make it beautiful to me, such as little reminders to stay strong and keep going.
In times of sheer dejection, when I couldn’t raise my head or hold my chin up high, I have walked down the streets in London and Luxembourg feeling rather lost. Until I saw a sign – literally.
Located in Southwark, London, I would go past this particular Ghost Sign every day as I went to and from work when I lived in Herne Hill and worked in Angel.
While I was in an abusive relationship, I recall heeding this sign and clinging onto it’s meaning for the entire day at work; “Take courage, you’ve got this – you can and will get through your whole work day without panicking.” Then, on the way back to my abusive ex boyfriend after work; “Take courage, you can do this – you can work out how to get through your evening.” On those evenings, I would be living each day as it came, simply hoping I’d survive and mentally and make it through to the next day.
This sign, in a life devoid of friendships and love, was all I had – and it offered me so much hope. It kept me sane, in it’s own way.
Fast forward some 11 years later and I’m sitting in a cafe in Luxembourg typing this up – my life is a world away from what it was; I earn 4 x as much money as I did back then, I have a home that I have actually lived in for more than 5 years now, and a car that I bought myself – my little mule that gets me all over Europe whenever I get the chance to disappear.
I’m also a million miles from the person who I was back on that train trundling along from Herne Hill to London Bridge, and back again. But I still get moments of anxiety, and insecurity – not about myself or how I look, but rather, whether this is all for some greater purpose, or if I am still just the fatalist that I have always been, or is it now, “used to be” – riding along on the waves of “whatever comes my way” but also being pushed by that, and in no way in control.
Oddly, I was having this thought as I was walking down to town this beautifully moody grey morning. Then I looked up, and across the road:
It honestly made me laugh out loud!
It’s so true though – none of us are lost. We are exactly where we need to be, right here, right now.
One love xx
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